I’m directing a student production of Twelfth Night right now, and I’m having a lot of fun thinking about what the play’s title might be if it were re-written by each different character.

OLIVIA: So Many Men Want To Marry Me

ORSINO: Friendzoned For Seven Years

VIOLA: Whoops! Let’s Just See How This Plays Out?

SEBASTIAN: My Dead Sister Shows Up To My Random Wedding

SEA CAPTAIN: I’m Glad My Ship Getting Wrecked Is Such An Effective Plot Device

SIR TOBY: 99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall

MALVOLIO: The Tragedy of Malvolio

MARIA: Stop Ruining The Moment, Malvolio

SIR ANDREW AGUECHEEK: I Have No Idea What I’m Doing

FABIAN: Is This A Comedy? Because Everyone’s Being Mean

ANTONIO: Antonio & Sebastian

FOOL: While We’re Talking, Let Me Offer You Some Free Advice

© Molly Booth 2016

TWELFTH NIGHT, re-titled by the characters
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